Are You Living a Life of Quiet Desperation?
Many boomers find themselves in mid-life living lives of ‘quiet desperation’ knowing intuitively that there must be more to life…a deeper sense of purpose and meaning but it seems to stay just out of their grasp.
You may have thought that your work — your job, career or profession — was your life purpose, just as I did in my first profession.
Or, like so many other men and women, you may have thought some significant role in life like being a good parent, spouse, or dutiful son or daughter — was your life purpose. Both are common cases of mistaken identity, and often leaves you asking questions like:
- Is this all there is to life?
- How come I’m doing more and more but enjoying it less and less?
In the process you may be missing out on “the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one,” to borrow a phrase from George Bernard Shaw.
Many people who have tried to bring a sense of purpose and meaning to their life focusing on the ‘doingness’ of life have ended up with is a life filled to overflowing with activity — doing, doing, doing — but so often missing the real sense of joy, satisfaction and fulfillment that they know at some level should be available to them if they truly were living on purpose.
This approach of focusing just on your work and roles in life simply doesn’t work. It’s a little like eating junk food. It doesn’t matter how much you eat, it won’t ultimately satisfy your body because some key ingredients that your body needs are missing.
Thinking that all that doing will lead to a satisfying and fulfilling life is erroneous thinking because the “essential vitamins” of love, joy and peace-of-mind are missing.
That’s why it’s time to rethink what a life purpose really is. Consider this — your life purpose isn’t really what you’re here to do — not quite.
It’s what shapes what you do. Your true life purpose is the context, vessel or container into which you pour your life that then has the power to shape and form your life and ALL that you do. The relationship between your life purpose and your life is similar to a coffee mug and the liquid inside it.
When you pour the liquid into a coffee mug, the mug gives shape and form to the liquid. Just so, when you know your life purpose with real clarity, it has the power to shape and form you life — your life at work, your life with your family, your decisions, your choices…each and every moment of your life can begin to be shaped by your true, Divinely Inspired Life Purpose.
And until you do bring that clarity of purpose to your life, you won’t truly satisfy your soul’s purpose for being here. Instead, your life will be shaped by outside influences — what others expect of you, what you think others expect of you, the currents of circumstances will sweep you along…. And much of this, in fact, most of this will stem from fear, a sense of lack and will result in struggling to make it in life….ie, a life of quiet desperation.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Truly it does not.
My Rise from the Ashes of a Burned Out Life
I know firsthand what it feels like to live a life of quiet desperation. You see I’d figured out my life purpose when I was about seven years old. At least I thought it was my life purpose. I was destined to be a small animal veterinarian, and I stayed on that path unerringly graduating in my mid-20s from the University of Georgia College of Veterinary Medicine.
But then I found at about the 13-year mark in my own practice that I’d grown to the point I could almost not stand going into the office another day. I’d burned out big time and that burn out carried over into my personal life as well. That led me to abusing alcohol and then drugs (and believe me as a vet I had access to a lot of drugs)….all in an effort to numb myself from the emotional and spiritual pain — a life of quiet desperation.
The downward spiral continued to the brink of suicide before God intervened and sent me an angel in the form of a close friend who just happened by my apartment and found me on the verge of my taking my own life and helped me to get help.
In the process of turning my life around, I reconnected with my spiritual center, I discovered the power of coaching, and I began to get clear about my true purpose….and like the mythological phoenix I arose from the ashes of my former burned out life, more passionate and on fire to make a difference with others as a Life On Purpose Coach.
I bring over 20 years experience as a life and business coach, and 12 years specializing on life purpose to my one-in-one coaching relationships.
Will one of those people be you? Here’s how I work with my one-on-one coaching clients.
Designing Your Life On Purpose Program
This program is divided into 2 primary phases with a 3rd optional one:
Phase One — Clarifying Your True, Divinely Inspired Life Purpose: This is the foundation of my work during which you not only bring crystal clarity to what your true purpose is, but you also become very clear what shapes your life when it’s not being shaped by your true purpose — that fear, lack and struggling to make it force that I call the Inherited Purpose.These are the Passages that are included in this phase:
1. Preparing for the Journey Along the Purposeful Path: As with any challenging journey, it’s best to thoroughly prepare yourself for your travels along the Purposeful Path. This includes accurately determining where you are starting from and where you intend to end up, as well as what some of the obstacles that can get in the way of completing the journey. “Purposeful Preparation” is important to a successful journey.
2. Starting on the Correct Path with the Life On Purpose Perspective: It makes sense to begin on the path that will get you where you want to go most expediently, so we’ll explore how most people have thought of a life purpose (the Cultural Perspective), and then look in depth at the Life On Purpose Perspective that open a door to a new world of purpose and possibility.
3. Clarifying What Has Been Shaping Your Life — Your Inherited Purpose: Another key passage along the Purposeful Path is clearly identifying what has been shaping your life and keeping you from clarifying and living your true, divinely inspired life purpose. We call this the Inherited Purpose – a powerful force based in fear, lack and a need to struggle to survive that shapes our lives much of the time, especially when we’re unclear about our true purpose. Many who have already traveled along the Purposeful Path feel that identifying their specific and unique Inherited Purpose to be one of the most powerful, transforming parts of the Process.
4. Clarifying & Polishing Your True, Divinely Inspired Purpose: After “cleaning the slate” by identifying and beginning to be responsible for your Inherited Purpose, the real fun begins as you go through a process called “Priming Your Passion” to clarify your true, divinely inspired life purpose. The process can be not only life affirming, but also life transforming. This completes Stage 1 or the clarifying your life purpose stage.
Estimated time for this phase – 6 weeks.
Phase Two — Designing Your Life On Purpose: Working with the 14 Power Tools for Living On Purpose, the fun as well as the challenge really begins as I support you in building a life that is a true and authentic reflection of your life purpose. The Passages included in this phase are:
5. Learning the Tools for Living On Purpose: This is the start of Stage 2 of the Process in which you begin to live true to your life purpose. This is where the “rubber meets the road” and where some of the biggest transformations take place as you’re introduced to some of the key Power Tools for Living On Purpose. You will use these tools to begin to build your life on purpose.
6. Mastering the Tools for Living On Purpose: Of course, being introduced to a set of tools is just the beginning, especially if you’re interested in building a masterpiece of a life on purpose. In this next part you will learn how to master the art and science of creating a life that is shaped by your true, divinely inspired life purpose.
Estimated time for this phase — Of course, this is a lifelong endeavor in many ways, but most clients make major progress within 4 months, providing a solid foundation to move on to Phase 3, if they so choose.
Phase Three — Becoming a World Server through Purpose Projects: The first two phases are so integral to a person’s living on purpose, it really doesn’t make sense to start the process unless you intend to complete both of these phases. However, this third phase is optional.
You may want to move right into creating a business on purpose or some other major project that will allow you to express your true purpose while contributing to others.
Or you may decide to take a few months off to further solidify the foundation of your life on purpose, and still others complete at the end of Phase 2.
What Else is Included in the Program
Email Support: Often questions arise between sessions. If so, zip them to me. I can often offer some ‘cybercoaching’ as well as being sure to address whatever we need to during the next coaching session.
Recorded Coaching Sessions: This is optional but I find some of my clients really benefit from having our session recorded and made available to them as a MP3 file that they can listen to later. If this sounds like it would be beneficial for you, just let me know.
Unlimited Cybercoaching (Email correspondence of assignments, etc.)
As Needed Laser Coaching (Short, purposefully punchy calls between scheduled calls if and as needed)
Access to Virtual Video Coach Online Program. The VVC is great supplementation to the 1-on-1 coaching sessions and will further help you integrate the process into your life on purpose. It includes:
- 15 online video coaching sessions
- A downloadable copy of the Virtual Video Coach Workbook — your roadmap along the Purposeful Path,
- Bonus items available on the VVC web area.
Who Is this For?
I admit it, working with me can be…well, intense. I’m passionate about my work, my clients, and supporting them in transforming their lives from one of quiet desperation to a full blown life of purpose, passion, and play.
Successful clients for this program tend to have these things in common:
• You have a real interest and commitment to live a ‘spiritually centered life.’
• You know you have a personal purpose for being alive. You may be clueless what it is or have only a vague idea about it, but you know in your heart that there is a Divinely Inspired reason for you being alive and on planet Earth.
• You’re ready, willing, and able to do the work to bring crystal clarity about what that purpose is and to continue on to designing your life to be a true and authentic reflection of that purpose.
• You’re coachable, and in fact, you’re more than open to being coached. You’re a strong request for coaching.
Needless to say, this is a serious commitment to your life. By stepping onto the Purposeful Path, you are, in essence, saying that you’re ready to design your life to be a full blown expression of your life purpose.
I realize that it takes courage, often a tremendous amount of courage, to make such a commitment. Living on purpose is not for the faint of heart, and yet, in my experience, it’s so very well worth the effort and risk.
I offer various coaching plans and fee structures ranging from a starter package of $285 to $1,000 per month for the executive plan (and several plans in between). If we’re meant to work together, I truly do not want money to be an insurmountable obstacle. I balance that intention with an understanding that I offer valuable service that makes a tremendous difference to my clients’ lives.
This is not meant for folks who want to make minimal improvements or aren’t sure what help they need. This is meant to be an investment that will be transformational in your life. To be an empowering relationship that makes a significant and lasting difference in your knowing your life purpose with crystal clarity and designing your life to be a true reflection of that purpose.
I limit the number of individual clients I have at any one time. I used to have a lot of individual clients, but I’ve found that I work better, and enjoy it more, if I have fewer clients, generally 6 or less, so that each one gets plenty of personal attention. If this resonates with you, I look forward to hearing from you.
Brad’s Coaching Days
I really do want to help you design your Encore Performance that will inspire you to live as purposeful and meaningful life as possible, so I’ve set aside some times in June to explore this possibility with a few select people that feel ready to design this next phase of their life and are looking for some guidance.
If that describes you, I invite you to click over here, then scroll to the bottom to select the day and time that works best for you. If none of the available times work for you, you can email me here, and we’ll arrange another time for our initial coaching consultation.
After you schedule the time, you’ll receive a confirmation email from me along with a link to a coaching questionnaire that will prepare both of us so you can get the most value from the consultation.
NOTE: You will receive an email message from our appointment system that may lead you to believe that the appointment needs to be in person. Don’t believe it! Unless you live in the western part of North Carolina,these appointments are either by phone, skype, or Google Hangout.