Transforming Enemies into Friends

It’s been a rewarding week as my family and I return from our week of rest and rejuvenation. My daughter and I have started working on a “Purpose Project” to create a series of meditations to help people going through the 6 Passages of the Life On Purpose Process to have a smooth and energized journey.

It’s so much fun creating a purposeful product like this with my daughter, who really loves leading people through visualizations and guided meditations and has such a beautiful voice for it. (Please indulge a proud father — you can listen to a recent a capella medley of Phantom of the Opera she sang at a recent Unity retreat.


Today’s article is also the completion of the series, “My Stuff, Your Stuff, We’ve All Got Stuff,” outlining the last 3 steps in how to transform an ‘enemy’ into a ‘friend.’

And under Resources On Purpose, I’m asking for your help with the new format of the Living & Working On Purpose Radio show which now includes a Purposeful Pondering Question segment. Submit a question and if we use it on the show, you’ll receive a valuable report. So, let’s get started.

LIVING ON PURPOSE: My Stuff, Your Stuff, We’ve All Got Stuff – Part 3
Transforming “Enemies” into “Friends”
Last week we continued this series with the first step of a four step process in how to turn an ‘enemy’ into a ‘friend,’ as directed by Jesus Christ and as outlined in some depth in Gary Simmons’ book, The I of the Storm: Embracing Conflict, Creating Peace. If you missed last week’s article, you can read it here.

Here’s the instructions from Jesus that we’ll work with, and I do mean we’ll work with together because I’m far from having mastered these steps to making friends with conflict:

“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. (Mt. 5:44)


Four steps to making friends with the conflict where we’ve turned a person or situation into an ‘enemy’:

1. Love / Acceptance
2. Bless
3. Do Good
4. Pray

As outlined in more depth last week, step one means to make a mental shift from thinking of them as ‘the enemy’ to thinking of them as a mirror reflecting back to you a place where you are not connected to your
own wholeness and worth, i.e. Your true self or life purpose — a challenging yet important first step.

Step #2 — Bless
As Simmons points out, “to bless someone or something is to endow that person or thing with the capacity to be a source of good in your life. You make it mean good by speaking kindly of the person or circumstance.” Not always easy perhaps but well worth the effort.

For example, I recently completed a coaching relationship with a client and not in a kind and gentle way but with a heated argument. But I was able to begin to shift my relationship to this client and the strained conversation we’d had to a more loving place, when I acknowledged that this client gave me a perfect opportunity to re-evaluate the type of clients that I work best with, not in a conceptual way but in a very real, personal way that I will not soon forget.

I’m still finding ways to bless this gentleman who has contributed much to my life even as I’m clear we’re not destined to work together, as I remind myself, “That which man has meant for evil, God has meant for good.”

Step #3 — Do Good
Doing good in the situation means you are working as God is working…operating from your true, Divinely Inspired Life Purpose rather than from the fear, lack or struggle of your Inherited Purpose.

So, with my ‘no-longer-client’ as I allowed the dust to settle around our tumultuous completion, I realized that since we were not a ‘perfect fit’ as coach and client, then no doubt there’s another coach out there in the world that would be. So, I’ve started to keep my eyes and ears open for one that I could recommend. Since one of the unique aspects of this client is his B’hai faith, it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps there’s a life coach who’s also a B’hai. (If you know of one, please let me know.)

Would my client accept such a recommendation from me at this point? I truly don’t know, but that’s really not for me to say. My job at this point is to “do good.”

Step #4 Pray
This is a powerful step for setting yourself and your “enemy” free through prayer, and while praying to remind yourself that no one or thing is against you. It all is in Divine Order…even, and sometimes especially, those relationships that don’t appear to be divine on first blush.

Again, from Gary’s book: “When Jesus was on the cross, he prayed for his enemies. ‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’ (Lk. 23:34) Jesus prayed the prayer of forgiveness as a way of freeing himself of judgment and condemnation, and any sense that he was a victim.”

So I pray for my former client — “May your life be full and complete and steadily on purpose as you continue along your personal Purposeful Path.”

When we know that no one and no thing is against us, we surrender our victimhood and are able to stand in the power of our true nature and purpose.

Purposeful Pondering Question for this Week
Who or what have you turned into an “enemy” and that you are now ready to transform into a friend through love, blessing, doing good, and prayer?

Thanks to those of you in recent weeks who have written to me, or posted messages on the Living & Working On Purpose Blog. I do so appreciate it when we have a two-way dialogue. You inspire me to try to continue to inspire you and so it goes and grows. I’d love to hear your comments and questions from today’s article. Please discuss how these ideas can be used practically in your daily life here on the blog.

Gary On Living & Working On Purpose Radio
If you’d like to learn more about Gary Simmons’ work, listen in this coming Wednesday at 5 pm EDT as Jeff McFarland and I interview Gary on the Living & Working On Purpose Radio Show of Exceptional Wisdom Radio.

The show will also be archived for later listening as well as downloadable via iTunes.